Shampoo decided to step up and accept the suicide mission of haring this hash, and Moist Leatherette chose to play Patsy to Shampoo's brave, brave Sir Robin. They promised the worst hash of the year, since that's what HaiPooGai said it was going to be, and he's never wrong. Ask him, he'll tell you himself.

The venue was the Alpine Hotel on Kingston Road at Vic Park, a charming, unpretentious place that hasn't become too uppity after those Restaurant Makeover people revamped it. No, actually that has not happened. It was a small turnout, obviously those who've been on Shampoo-hared runs before can remember. Didgeridoo and Prince Valium did decide to say hello to us, and Didge said they’d just finished cycling through Slovenia, Croatia, Austria and Hungary and their legs were killing them, or they'd just flown in from cycling through Slovenia, Croatia, Hungary and Austria and boy were their arms killing them, I forget which.

The trail headed north a bit to an area of wasteland known locally as the Quarry, which is slated for development and brought back childhood memories for Shampoo. Not his childhood, but those of the kids he hangs around with there. Evidence of their shenanigans was found in the fresh graffiti, empty spray cans, empty beer bottles and pre-loved mattresses that lay scattered around amid the trees.

Then there was a long boring stretch pretty much straight east. Shadow was lagging the pack by this point, but when Shampoo next turned around Shadow was riding in a fancy Jaguar. No, he hadn't carjacked it, he'd actually been picked up by Johnny Cockring, who'd been driving home from the office. So they were directed to the beer check and off they went.

The last of the trail swung through some parkland at Kingston Road, crossed over into Rosetta McClain Gardens, then turned up to the beer check at a little dive at the corner of Birchmount Road. Poor Humpday had been FRBing the whole run like an Olympian, but at this sad juncture decided to miss the beer check mark and continue the rest of the two kilometres back to the start.

Johnny got to run circle according to our new principle of whoever shows up last gets to be the new GM. Prince Valium and Didgeridoo had already disappeared in a puff of smoke back to Durham. Shampoo was just glad that for the first time in months he didn't have to demonstrate the donkey punch – Backdoor Buzz, not so much. Following that the last of the kennel decided to stay at the Alpine and sample the Chef's Surprise, which at the Alpine you hope isn't too communicable.