Sunday, June 7’s Full Moon hash saw a bedraggled group of seven meet at Stratenger’s on Queen East. The only notable attendance change was the addition of FRB, newly cum to Hogtown by way of Ethiopia and Kenya. Bedraggled hare Shampoo guided the pack (except for the free-ranging Shadow) on a short trail around the east end, ending up at Chez Shampoo for the swanky beer (and wine and cheese) check, served by the not-bedraggled Moist Leatherette, all done up like a Weimar strumpet. Even zee cheese tray vas beeyuutiful.

            And towards the end of the beer check Humpday and Backdoor Buzz showed up, thirsty, having come from the hash in Oakville. And they managed to follow the trail all by themselves, see? There was still beer to be drunk, and instead of getting the hell out everybody stayed and Moist ordered pizza from one of those “slow food” places – Pizza Lentissima I think it was called – which took only an hour to show up.

Missed the run on Monday but investigative reporting at the on on showed that Thunder Thighs was visiting from Munich, Mother Toy was still in town to keep an eye on her little girl, and Shadow was the hare and still an idiot. Duelling GMs Rose Eh and Johnny Cockring wrestled in a tub of warm lard for the right to dispense down downs. I am totally making that up, but would still like to see it all the same. Supposedly the trail started on the Danforth and led down the Don Valley side, and the beer check was at the Dominion on Queen.

On Saturday the Thirteenth Birdbrian and Rose Eh opened a big can ‘o whupass for the smallish pack that assembled at the Loblaws at Eglinton and Don Mills. Dirty legs and shoes suggested what was to come, and poison ivy was forewarned. A few hashers decided to go shopping first, including Humpday, who made a beer run, and UPS, who splurged on a new pair of yoga pants. She wasn’t sure if they made her ass look big, but we know what the beer did to Humpday.

            The trail went through a bit of Don Mills before heading down into the ravine. One shallow river crossing and we were into some nice trails that Birdbrian insisted had been well marked with flour before somebody came along and swept it all up. He helpfully guided us through the unmarked bits all the same. Just near the tracks there was one steep slope Rose Eh said she’d already slipped and fallen on; luckily a repeat did not occur.

            Trail came out of the woods near the DVP, and then it was through the Rainbow Tunnel of Love to the beer check in the park on the other side. Several young couples looked embarrassed and edged away when we arrived. Down downs were also generously provided from the bottomless cooler.

            That done, it was a long slog up the hill and then back to the start, from where the smart set went over to Rose Eh’s condo for the on in.