In what would appear to be a retaliatory move against the Hogtown Hash House Harriers, the secretive Asian country conducted an approximately 20 megaton underground nuclear test on Monday.
“Our glorious workers’ paradise will not suffer this infamous provocation”, announced a spokesman from the People’s Republic Information Committee of Korea.

“Even though this “run” was shortened to half its intended length,” continued the PRICK representative, “to organize such an event in the decadent drinking establishment known as the Duke of Kent (a known front of neo-monarchical toadies), and then to parade themselves in the Yonge-Eglinton bastion of bourgeois revisionism, is deeply abhorrent to our people.”

“That such farcical goings-on should be conducted by the cabal of co-GMs Rose Eh and Johnny Cockring provokes the mockery and disdain of our resplendent Dear Leader, who requires no help in his mismanagement. These cringing dogs of Hogtown hashers will ultimately pay the penalty for their impertinence, as we shall feed them to our savage dogs. Then we will eat these dogs,” concluded the PRICK spokesman.

Reliable sources confirm that the Hogtown Hash did indeed run in a confused manner in the Yonge and Eglinton area, purportedly looking for sparse and ill-defined “marks” of chalk or flour. The existence of these marks cannot be independently verified, and may be part of yet another campaign of deception on the part of this mysterious group and its “hare” for the evening, Yakety Yak.

According to these sources, the hash ran around aimlessly east of Yonge Street; then went west along Eglinton over to the Forest Hill park, where it disturbed a number of soccer players. Then it crossed south of Eglinton, eventually ending up on the Belt Line heading back towards Yonge.
The “beer check” was held on the patio at Kramer’s, where the GMs later decided to have down downs. Indications of dissension between the ruling junta arose when Johnny Cockring unilaterally decided to order another pitcher of down down beer, a move objected to by Rose Eh.
Casket Case invited an unknown young woman, whose identity remains shrouded in mystery, to join them. He claimed she is a co-worker of his, but this fact is at this time unverified.

When the hash returned to the Duke of Kent, Hai Poo Gai complained about the food and was joined by Helen Keller, while Horney Rubble complained about the food and was joined by a woman he had variously termed “Dry as a Bone”, “Bone in Her Teeth” and “Bone Noser”. It was in fact “Bone Dry”, who he is actually married to.

In light of subsequent North Korean ballistic missile tests, international observers expect further runs by the Hogtown Hash House Harriers to be carried out in what appears to be a tit-for-tat escalation between these long-time bitter rivals. Alarmed neighbouring countries such as Japan and South Korea are pleading for United Nations resolution of this crisis.