The day before St. Patrick’s Day (or St. Practise Day as us alkies like to call it) we found ourselves at one of my favourite watering holes; the Rhino, in underhashed Parkdale. Of course Irish lass Dead End had been there most of the afternoon celebrating St. Patrick’s month.

After limbering up at the bar, the pack moved outside to receive instructions from our hare. Never at a loss for words, HaipooGai droned on and on about his marks including one which I’d never seen... ”BNN” (beer not near). OMFG.

Trail ran east towards 1001 Queen, where at least half the pack has rooms, before winding back through Liberty Village. Eventually we found ourselves along the GO tracks behind Exhibition Place. Unfortunately, it ended at a locked fence which, according to the hare, had been wide open mere hours earlier. I must say I got the giggles watching Humpday and Zephyr practice their fence climbing technique. Fortunately, the only casualties were Yakkety Yak who shredded a pant leg and Back Door Buzz who conveniently ripped a hole in his ass.

Running up Gywnne, I noticed Humpday stop for a brief intercourse with a local hooker before dashing to the beer check at tres chic Nick Friends Bar. It wasn’t long before the ether was sizzling as both the bunny pack, led by a crippled COD, and the FRB’s tried to warn the others of the folly of the fence. 

Back at the Rhino we were fortunate to be able to take over the entire back room. I’m not sure if this was done because they valued our business or they wanted to hide from the regulars.

Down downs were meted out as the hashers celebrated the Cask Conditioned Ale. After a couple rounds voices started to rise as HaipooGai and Dung Dodger got in a Brewhaha over wine bars. First it was “Why , if there are wine bars, are there no beer bars?”. Then it was “Why don’t wine bars serve good beer?” Good lord! When does a wine bar become a whine bar? As the rest of the hashers listened in, Yakkety Yak took the opportunity to torment newly named Helen Keller. Anyone care to guess how she got that name?

Sadly, I hafta report that in all the excitement our sad sack GM forgot that it was Back Door Buzz’s 40th birthday. Hey dude... next year lay a hash on your birthday... then we’ll remember.