The Hash pipes - "filk" version of "Baby Got Back"
Hogtown Hash 21 Bum Salute Weekend
Saturday 15th November 2008
Pipes - Wet Spot and Doo Hickey
"Baby got beer"

Oh, my, god. Doohickey, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff*
She looks like one of those Hash guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those Hash guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her because she drinks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so huge, it's like, out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just such a ... TWAT!

I like big TWATs and I cannot lie
You other hashers can't deny
That when a TWAT walks in with a beer to her face
In a big mug she won't waste

You get sprung, wanna pull out your chalk
'Cause you notice that beer was knocked
Back on the trail she's haring
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh baby, I wanna drink with you
And share your frosty pitcher
My hash boys all just cursed me
But that beer you got makes me so thirsty

Ooh, on your trail I'm laggin'
You say you gotta find the bag-wagon?
Well, use mine, use mine
'Cause you ain't that average half-mind

I've seen her shot-gunnin'
To hell with the runnin'
She's sweat, wet,
Down-downing like a hashing vet

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' light beers are the thing
Take the average Hash man and ask him here
She gotta drink real beer

So, Hashers! (Yeah!) Hashers! (Yeah!)
Can a TWAT chick drink much beer? (Hell yeah!)
Don't shake it! (Don't shake it!) Don't shake it! (Don't shake it!)
Don't waste that tasty beer!

Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer!

I like 'em big, and not frail,
And when I'm layin' a trail
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like a bloodhound
Now here's what I found

I wanna get it on
And on, double-up, on-on
I ain't talkin' 'bout Budweisers
'Cause American beers are made for hosers

I want 'em real strong and frosty
So find that frosty double
DooHickey's in trouble
Beggin' for somethin' that bubbles

So I'm lookin' at Olympic videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos runnin' like pros
You can have them bimbos
I like a TWAT best if there's beer on her clothes

A word to the thick-soled sisters,
I wanna get with ya, I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *drink*
Till the break of dawn,

Baby got it goin' on
A lot of wanks won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to dash it and get hash shit
And I'd rather check back just to get back
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get some brewskis on

So, females! {Yeah!} Females! {Yeah}
If you wanna run on some hash trails {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even wankers got to shout

Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer! (Hogtown face with a Hogan's booty)
Baby got beer!

Yeah, baby... when it comes to TWAT babes, runnin' ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection.
Four minutes to run a mile? Ha ha, only if she does it without
spilling her beer.

So your girlfriend runs at Good Life,
ain't never touched a steak knife
But the Hash ain't found no tavern in the back
of Good Life

The Hash Pipes don't want none
Unless you drink beer, hun
You can DFL all year,
But please don't spill that beer

Some players wanna take the hard road
And tell you that the TWAT ain't gold
So they FRB and they leave it
And I run up quick to retrieve it

So AA says you're a lush
Well, come and drink with us!
'Cause your trails are short and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' 'bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames on the TV set:
You ain't no harriet!
Give me a TWAT-girl, I can't resist her
Barley and hops didn't miss her

Some mooseknuckle gave me heck
'Cause the TWAT's at my beer check
He set trail but he chose to ditch 'em
And I run up quick to drink wit 'em

So ladies, if you're in Hogtown,
And you want a triple H down-down,
Dial 1-900-WETSPOT
And drown them thirsty thoughts

Baby got beer! (She's a snail on the trail but she got much beer)
Baby got beer! (She's a snail on the trail but she got much beer)
Baby got beer! (She's a snail on the trail but she got much beer)
Baby got beer!

========================================

And, for those who are interested:

Original rap song (with mostly-correct lyrics):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktzvNvYReMo

Jonathan Coulton "folk" cover:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyJeC99QO8A (totally boring video, I
know)

 

Submitted by Doo Hickey