The strike continues. This week, former GM Wet ‘n Dirty submitted the trash.

It was an awesomely warm December day; perfect for a winter hash... potholes... and Wet Pussy’s first divorce. It was two days after Santa’s visit and I was anxious to see what everyone got for Christmas. I was especially hoping that Birdbrian got a new sweater. Unfortunately he was up north in Midhurst or wherever. There were however some new faces to take his place; Pylon and No Gas (?) from Vancouver, and a quiet new harriette from Caledon or Caledonia or UBF or somewhere. Also present were Ra and H2Ho whom we hadn’t seen for a dog’s age and Whip It Out who made the journey from Motown to see Dirty Dancing at the Royal Alex and more likely at the Zanzibar.

Sex Toy almost didn’t make it as the Toymobile lost a fight with a pothole and suffered a puncture. COD too had an incident. He’d been playing ball (tee hee!) hockey and pulled up with a gimpy leg. At the race track they just would have shot him. I was actually looking forward to hashing but it was the kind of weather that makes the trail slushy and muddy. As you know, I’m a tad precious and wanted to get neither wet nor dirty so I decided to bail on the trail. Instead, COD and I went to set up the beer check. Humpday was in the middle of his usual lame chalk talk when Shampoo and Moist Leatherette arrived. Trying to stall for time while the latecummers changed into their hash gear, he asked Ra to tell a joke. I think it was something about a Chihuahua. I didn’t run the trail so I’m not sure exactly where it went (Duh!) but as usual Wet Pussy marked it with spray paint. I have a feeling though that it went past Ikea cuz Humpday mentioned something about stopping in for some ice cream and a couple of hot dogs. The beer check was located in the GO lot off Leslie. In addition to premium beer, Wet Pussy had provided me with a bucket of pristine white snow and a bottle of Galliano. With this we created a drink called Yellow Snow. Of course my recipe would have scraped the Galliano in favour of Vodka and yellow food colouring.

I managed to get 8 hashers in my car for the ride back to Chateau Pussy. It was a tight fit (that’s what she said!) but we made it.

As usual the circle was nothing special except for the first time since she was 12, Sex Toy got a down down for being flat (tee hee!). It was also interesting to watch Pylon demonstrate his west coast power drinking technique. (mismanagement note... they have to stand that way in case circle is interrupted by an earthquake.)
Eventually the circle was handed over to Ra who presided over the divorce proceedings. It was a bitter sweet moment as Wet Pussy and H2Ho had been married for 6 year, but it was prudent in light of H2Ho’s upcoming nuptials. Y&R ain’t got nothing on Hogtown!

Anyhoo, while this was going on I sat in the corner and practiced (wait for it!) my belching. And you wonder why I’m still single?

After the divorce it was back to the GM for his customary lame ass hash blessing; “May the hash get a pearl necklace!” Charming!

With the formalities over Wet Pussy got down to the serious business of flipping burgers on the BBQ while Pearl Necklace beavered away in the kitchen preparing a feast worthy of a bunch of starving half minds. Meanwhile Black Widow, Dapper Sapper, Sweet Cheeks and at least 4 other hashers stood around as man’s man Poker singlehandedly changed Sex Toy’s tire. It seems all those years changing tires on the back roads of Zimbabwe, whilst fending off lions, paid off.