I’m not sure how I got home Saturday night but judging by the bags of groceries on my kitchen counter the next morning, I’d made a stop at my local Metro.

A crowd of just under 30 showed up at the Upfront Bar and Grill for a beautiful day of hashing. We were honoured by guests Colon Disturber and former (special) Olympian, Olimpdick from Waukesha and two virgins, Just Jeff and Just Cheryl delivered to us by Eager Beaver. They must have created quite the scene as they all came on the Go train. Even Horny Rubble would qualify as a visitor. Unfortunately he forgot the name of his home hash. Duhhh!

In theory, we were to have dressed as victims of zombies however only Mangina wearing a Hawaiian shirt, Dung Dodger wearing fleur de lis, and Just Jeff wearing scuba diving pigs underwear seem to have got the message. Somewhere along the way, hare Birdbrian had changed his mind and decided that the stock market crash would be an even better theme. It wasn’t surprising then that the trail headed straight to King and Bay, the second most powerful corner in the country.

While most of us continued east and then north to the Grange, Shadow decided to go south and enjoy a tour of Harbourfront.  This was also about the last place we saw Mangina who presumably fell prey to a Zombie. Funny... I thought they ate brains?

After a loop around the U of T, FRB’s Just Jeff, Dung Dodger, Casket Case, Half Wit, and Shampoo decided to let the pack catch up while they wandered around the lawn at Queen’s Park. Eventually true trail was found and the pack scurried through the gaybourhood to the beer check at Mick E. Flynn’s across from Maple Leaf Gardens.

Unfortunately half mind GM Humpday had invested the hash cash in the TSE and only had $40 left for the beer check. Fortunately he broke down and hit up Raquel Felch and Casket Case for loans.

On the trip back to the Upfront the hashers stood in front of the window of an ink parlour and taunted a local tough for getting a tattoo of a cute little dolphin.

At the on-in down downs went to the hare, visitors, and virgins as well as...

Drinkslikesagirl and Double Header for back sliding

Half Wit for sexing fish

Dung Dodger for doing weird things with his grandmother’s underwear

Olimpdick for being the world’s slowest Olympian

Shampoo for running with a wooden knee

Shadow for getting lost on trail

Shadow and Moist Leatherette for missing the beer check

And Drinkslikeagirl for being on Ritalin and accusing everyone of everything.

Over stressed RA Rose Eh declared Just Jeff as Prick of the Week for wearing scuba diving pig underwear.

With circle closed, the mob tried to order beer and food from the overwhelmed waitress. The worst part was that I was stuck between Back Door Buzz, who was pressing Nadia Cumaneatme for bon mots in Ojibway and HaipooGai, who was giving an earful (what else?) to poor Zephyr. Is it any wonder I drank so much?