“Bonjour Mesdames et Messieurs. Bienvenue a Nuit Mud”. With these words Humpday welcomed us to a hash celebration of mud... and the arts. Unfortunately the corner of St. Clair and O’Connor is pretty much bereft of the arts so we were stuck with the mud.

Pre-hash entertainment consisted of the boyz trying to knock a menu off Dung Dodger’s head with lemon slices. No one came close. 

A score of hashers circled up in front of Jawny Bakers to listen to instructions and introductions and to watch handmaiden Back Door Buzz untie Humpday’s shoes. Although Stacey and Clinton say its okay, I really don’t think Humpday should wear white pants after Labour Day... or any other time.

As Shampoo took the express route into Taylor Creek Park, New Shoez and Black Widow unearthed a pair of children’s chairs and proceeded to run the remainder of the trail with them. The only things they were missing were the dunce caps.

After tiptoeing through the creek, the hashers launched an attack on the Taylor Massey Watershed, destroying the habitat of dozens of species of newts, salamanders and toads, along with a few homeless people. As the migratory birds scattered, the mob splashed back through the river to a mountain bike trail where the half minds were eager to abet the erosion process.

Of course noted environmentalist Shadow would have none of this and stuck to the tarmac. He eventually arrived at the beer check shortly before sexy septuagenarian Hippocratic Oaf, a game Zephyr, and Venta and Raquel Felch who had taken the bunny trail.

The last stretch of trail was particularly sensitive. As the hash trudged through the Precambrian riverbed, Morehead tried to show Casket Case how to “skin the cat” on the high bar. Of course if she hadn’t had ten pounds of mud on each shoe she might have been able to pull it off.

For the beer check, hare Humpday had cleverly concealed a case of Laker down the hill behind Parkview Garden. The thirsty hashers sucked it back with gusto while perched precariously on tree limbs. It wasn’t until later that we noticed that fleet footed Wet ‘n Dirty and Flyer were missing. While some worried (ed. note... hoped?) that they were stuck up to their necks in a bog, others worried (ed. note... hoped??) that they’d been attacked by bears. Speculation ended when the pair came sauntering up the hill, none the worse for wear.

As there was still some beer left it was decided to hold circle in ‘not so’ private Parkview Garden. With Half Wit acting as Beer Meister, down downs were handed out. Everything was hunky dory until Wet Pussy and Humpday decided to exchange body fluids. Eeew.

There must have been some barefoot hashers back at Jawny Bakers cuz I saw two pairs of muddy Keds in the dust bin.

 After some expensive pints and tasty but pricey eats, a bunch of hashers headed downtown to enjoy some arts, culture and music. I’m not sure how the schedule will work out next year but a late night, downtown hash for the next Nuit Blanche would get my vote.
.