Add in hash horrors Arse Son, Just Ryan, Just Lauren aka Smurfette, and Kit Kat and there were just shy of 40 hashers present last Saturday. Of course it was a special occasion as Kazoo and Trix R4 Prix are getting ready to emigrate to New Zealand. At least that’s according to hash gossip Flyer. We’d also been lured by the promise of free T-shirts to the first 50 hashers.

The first face I spotted had a distinctively blue hue. His name was Half Bit Whore from New Zealand via Abu Dhabi. He’d been sent to Hogtown to prove that Birdbrian’s planes can fly.

Following chalk talk, trail set out along Yorkview and then took a quick turn up Uno eventually leading to a crossing of mighty Mimico Creek that made the Zambesi look tame. Even Half Bit Whore got his blue beard wet. As the water was deep, I’m sure some of the more practical hashers took the opportunity to empty their bladders.

After a champagne check in Spring Gardens (featuring the best plonk that $11 can buy) and roll call to make sure no one had drowned, we continued on our way.

I don’t remember much about the next stretch except Dung Dodger asking me about running technique. Good gawd, he might as well have been asking Arse Son about quantum mechanics. Duh.

Eventually though, the trail led along a scenic woodland path (where I drafted behind speedy youngin Kit Kat), to a well earned beer check in Berry Road Park.

After a march through Bishop Allen Athletic Field we gathered back at Casa Kazoo where a block of ice was awaiting some overheated bottoms.

As circle got underway only cross dressing, marathon man Wet Pussy whined that the trail was too short. Meanwhile beermeister Cougar put in extra miles delivering down down Amsterdam to GM Humpday.

While slightly bruised Kazoo showed off his block and tackle, down downs were awarded to...
Serious backsliders Kit Kat, Wine Ho, Adolf Vice and Just Osiat (sp?)
Rose Eh for protecting her hearing when Sweet Cheeks blows his horn
Cougar for arousing a mere child of 6 months
Colicky Birdbrian for farting on trail (although that’s such a regular occurrence it’s hardly down down worthy)
Trix R4 Prix, Didgeridoo, and Giggles for bearing hash horror offspring
Half Bit Whore, Prince Valium and New Shoez for burning rubber
Hash ballerina Pearl Necklace for bashing without hashing
Just Peter got one for being a 40 (50?) year old virgin and proceded to make out with his dingo.
Hogtown RA Rose Eh gave prick of the week to Rub a Dub for sucking up to his wife.
Just before announcements, hash historian Sex Toy noted that Trix R4 Prix and Kazoo had been happily married for 5 years and that today they were celebrating their 11th anniversary. While they made out the rest of the mob swarmed the buffet table to devour the grub lovingly prepared by the happy couple, Just Peter and others.
Serious drinking ensued resulting in the draining of both kegs of Amsterdam, so while the kids posed for pix on Black Widow’s scooter, Kazoo went on a mercy mission to the local In/Out store.

Hey... where’s my T shirt?